Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

This isn’t my regular writing style, but I’m going to be extremely transparent right now.

I don’t know about you, but 2010 was quite a roller coaster ride! It was a year of major upheaval, victories, disappointments, and overall waves of contrast that offered opportunities for extreme growth! My biggest disappointment is that my business hasn’t taken off and served you in the highest way possible. Why? I believe it’s because I was all over the map – trying to be everything to everyone – which resulted in burning myself out and helping no one.

Well, it’s 2011. Maybe it already started out kind of icky, or maybe I haven’t quite kickstarted my heart yet (thanks, Motley Crue!). It doesn’t really matter how yesterday was, because the fact of the matter is that we create our experiences. Each day, each hour, each minute offers a chance to change my thoughts and change my reality.

It’s time for me to get laser focused on how to help you. Whether you’ve just received an Autism diagnosis for your child or you’re at the end of your rope because you’ve tried everything an are still frustrated and overwhelmed, HELP IS ON THE WAY.

Look for changes at Spirit Of Autism, including a regular, informative newsletter, surveys on exactly WHAT YOU NEED FROM ME, and much more support in the way of programs, teleclasses, and videos. I am your advocate, and I can’t wait to learn from you as well!

Also stay tuned for more standardized emergency response training programs in the works, as I collaborate with some pretty cool people that want to help!

Family changes

In addition to all the wonderful things I am doing at home with my son, this year I am committed to going 100% Gluten and Casein free. Justin has also excitedly started a customized plan using Nutrition Response Testing and whole food supplements, and is soon to start the EnListen® Listening Training Program. I will share with you our progress and results as we go through these amazing opportunities to help Justin improve things such as:

• attention, focus and concentration
• self-confidence
• cognition skills
• reading and writing
• comprehension and memory
• athletic performance
• speech clarity
• organization
• body function
• digestion
• nutritional deficiencies
  
• stresses and imbalances in the body
  

As for my daughter, my goal last year was getting her as much sibling support as possible. However, between her brother’s needs and my business, she already has strong feelings about all the focus and attention our family puts on Autism. Our new goal (which has already started to manifest – YES!) is to get her together with like-minded, creative peers so she doesn’t feel so isolated and withdrawn. Thanks to a wonderful guardian angel I just met, she will be homeschooled with a small group of kids instead of all with me. She also just joined a D&D group, which should open some new opportunities for her to share her imagination!

As for my New Year’s goals… I vow to be more centered, focused, and step into my best self without limits. I am going to stop trying to be super woman and  start allowing help from others, breaks, even down time for myself. (WHAT?!?!) You see, the best gift I can offer myself, my children, and all of you is to shine my light as brightly as possible. To do so, I must be as happy and healthy as I can be.

What about you? What are you letting go of? What are you stepping into? I’d love to hear about it!

Saying a Heart Felt Thank You

Salutations! Things are sure buzzing around my house these days! Getting ready for the holidays – keeping fingers crossed that eBay, er… um… SANTA will deliver the kids’ goods on time – and preparing for the launch of my new site, Autism Support Now. It’s still under construction, but I’ve posted a Holiday Safety article with tips for helping your child survive the chaos that often accompanies this time of year.

More importantly, as I shift into a place of really serving families that need support and information, I want to say a great big THANK YOU. Each and every one of you that takes the time out of your day to read my articles, comment on the blog, “like” my Facebook links and status updates, and Retweet me… I am blessed to have connected with all of you. I know that as I literally kick myself out of my comfort zone and answer the call to share everything I’ve learned these past five years, I look forward to bringing solutions and support to as many families as I can reach that are looking for a way out of confusion.

I was at my rope’s end so many times with no one to turn to, receiving conflicting information from everywhere I sought help. It is my mission and commitment to keep parents out of that dark place and armed with a clear-cut plan to bring out the best in their little angels.

I am also creating a more accessible training program for Emergency Responders, so look for more information on that soon!

So, from my family to yours, a huge THANK YOU for being you and dancing with me on this journey. Have the warmest and most blessed holiday!

Debi, Dorian, Justin, and Juno

What’s So Familiar About Cheese?

Image from dvdverdict.com

I’m going to take a short break this week from the scientific philosophies, the tips and tools, the family stories, and the therapy program discussions and simply share an amusing correlation I made about Autism and a beloved, lesser-known cartoon character. Please note that by no means am I undermining, making fun of, or minimizing anything about my child or any of the brilliant angels on the Autism Spectrum. This is just something I found entertaining and a wee bit insightful about perspective.

My children used to religiously watch Cartoon Network’s “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.” This cute and creative show is about imaginary friends being left to fend for themselves after the children that created them outgrew them and the elderly woman that founded a home for them to be re-adopted one day.

Somewhat mid-season, a character was introduced named Cheese. Wikipedia describes him as “a simple, pale-yellow-colored friend who debuted in “Mac Daddy”. He appears to be somewhat madcap and dim-witted, often saying incoherent or non-sequitur phrases, and breaking into sudden bouts of screaming when frightened or when he doesn’t get his way. Cheese likes goldfish crackers, cereal, juice, chocolate milk (although he is lactose-intolerant), and so on..”

Here are some other things I noted about Cheese:

• He is never actually mischievous, he just does things in the moment that please him
• The other characters see him as annoying to be around
• He is unable to understand anyone else’s viewpoint or perception
• He tries to do things himself and gets frustrated when he can’t
• He tries to fit in with the other friends but is very socially awkward
• He is addicted to cereal and milk, though his body can’t tolerate them (gluten and casein!)
• He is perceived as “slow” yet he is actually quite brilliant, especially in the episode where the Headmaster punched in a random code on the new alarm system and locked everyone out of the house. Cheese actually remembered the entire (ridiculously long) sequence by tone and could repeat it verbatim; however, he would only agree to help if they made a game out of it and EVERYONE played along.
• He repeats phrases and gets “stuck” on one or two topics of choice
• He is a “space invader”: he often crashes into Bloo while playing or follows him around within an inch or two of him
• He has no regard for danger and needs to be watched carefully
• He is prone to wandering, and even took a bus through town by himself because of an innocent, unexplained thought he was compelled to follow
• He is very loud, but he can’t tell that it’s not a normal volume
• Some typical sensory experiences that other kids would enjoy frighten or bother him

By now, I’m sure you’re starting to see where I’m going with this

Maybe some viewers initially see Cheese as “that annoying kid with behavior issues who lacks discipline from his creator” (sound familiar?). I see this character as the quintessential snapshot of a high-functioning Autistic child. In fact, he’s a lot like my son. A lot.

His recurring appearances sprinkled throughout the show illustrate a journey with the other characters that really hits home for me. It’s a journey that goes from avoidance and rejection to an eventual understanding of him.  Ultimately the characters move into compassion and acceptance of Cheese into their community… and even offer their friendship.

Whether that was the creator’s intention or not, that’s my takeaway! Bravo, Craig McCracken.

Here are a couple of short videos to enjoy if you’re not familiar with the character!

Tribute to Cheese

Cheese Alarm Code

Stunning Stocking Stuffers and Funny Bathtub Antics

My good friends at The Puzzling Piece created these really cool gifts that would be perfect in the stocking of anyone that has been touched by Autism. According to the Autism Society of Greater Georgia, there a child is diagnosed with Autism every 20 minutes. I am certain that you know a family member, neighbor, co-worker or friend whose life has been affected by an Autism Spectrum Disorder. What better way to show your support than with one of these stunning and unique gifts?

Click HERE to order

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Washing Logic Down the Drain

Recently my bathtub decided to start taking 20+ minutes for the water to exit the drain. It seemed to become a slow and laborious task with no prior warning. Being that I have a husky that leaves  puppy-sized fur spheres around the house (no, I didn’t feed her after midnight!) and a daughter with Alanis Morissette hair, I suspected it was a typical blockage and did what any good woman would do: bought a giant bottle of Liquid Plumber.

The entire bottle, emptied in 45-minute segments could not help this drain. What on earth had gotten down through the drain screen that could have caused such a sudden backup? It was becoming dangerous at that point to have the tub fill over six inches each time I showered, as it left a nice layer of soap, shampoo, and conditioner residue each day. Not to mention how disgusting it is to not be able to effectively clean it because it wasn’t draining properly.

My landlord came to the rescue, emptying a quarter of a bottle of lye into the drain… but it, too, was ineffective. He returned a few days later with a new bottle of lye, figuring it was simply a stubborn block that needed a double dose.

Nope.

Regretfully, we had to call a plumber. Soap-skating in my tub each day had “Emergency Room” written all over it

The day before he was scheduled to arrive, my landlord came over to try out one more idea. He unpacked his bucket o’ supplies and knelt on the floor. As I was standing in the doorway making pleasant conversation, my lovely son came running up and crashed into me, declaring “Uh… you have to pull the lever down!” He promptly whizzed out of the room and carried on his noise-making elsewhere.

It took a minute to register: holy cow. The lever that controls whether or not the tub drains was in the “up” position. Oops!

In my defense (please hear me out! This is not as bad as the day I drove off with the drive-through bank tube!), we always use the Rubbermaid tub stopper thing (pictured to the right), so it’s not as if I took a bath one day and forgot to put the lever back!

I simply found it nothing short of amazing that this child, seemingly unaware of the situation at hand, be-bopped into the bathroom and made the most logical, simple connection that the rest of us had missed for several days.

Do you have any funny stories or experiences similar to this? I’d love to hear them! Leave a comment below, or post it on my Facebook page!!

15 Simple Pleasures… It’s the Little Things

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I found myself inspired of course to talk about gratitude… but with a slightly different spin on it.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve received from my child with Autism came from watching him stay in the now.  There’s a huge part of me that honestly believes our children coming forth today with a cornucopia of learning disabilities are really “upgraded” versions of us… neurologically evolved. Like a mini-me 2.0

They are programmed with an inner GPS that keeps them in alignment with who they are and what makes them happy. They don’t seem to be affected by the same time constraints, worries, anxieties about the future, and limiting beliefs that keep me stuck in my head. Watching my son be totally absorbed in the tiniest thing that amuses him really inspires me to take a step back and appreciate the moment. After all, the now is really all we have! The past is in our minds and the future is merely projected outcomes that may or may not ever occur.

So here’s my list of 15 silly things that bring me joy. What are yours?

1. Getting to lick the cake or brownie batter when the kids aren’t looking
2. The first sip of my morning coffee on the days that the cream-to-sweetener ratio is just right
3. When the dog trots playfully beside me during walks instead of pulling
4. The smell of a wood stove burning in the neighborhood when it first starts getting cold
5. The silence surrounding the first snow
6. Catching my children spontaneously playing together
7. The peace of 5 am, before the rest of the world wakes up
8. When conversation with someone flows effortlessly
9. When scented candles actually smell like their label claims while burning
10. The elegant dinner dish that took 20 minutes to prepare but tastes like you spent hours in the kitchen
11. The look on someone’s face when they first taste said dinner dish
12. When the last grape or strawberry you eat is the sweetest one
13. Reaching in your pocket and finding unexpected money
14. Going to dial an old friend and the phone rings at the same time… guess who!
15. Laughing endlessly over something so silly you don’t know why it was funny in the first place

Can’t Afford Certain Therapies? Things to Do at Home

Early on in my son’s diagnosis, we were on the six-to-nine month waiting list for Occupational Therapy at one of the top sensory centers here in Atlanta. After struggling through many public school behavioral disaster situations whilst on that list, we finally had a shot at getting into therapy… only to find out that my insurance didn’t cover it.

Almost five years ago I embarked on a journey to really understand what my child was experiencing, how it compared and contrasted what other children experienced, all the components involved in the big picture, and what I could do at home to help him.

If you are also struggling with the feeling that you can’t give your child the help you think he or she needs, I can help you set up protocols easily done at home to improve your situation. Here are some tools and ideas for you:

Movement

You hear me talk about the importance of fitness, but that doesn’t necessarily mean push ups, squats, and boot camp for your kids! There are so many fun ways to get your children moving, and the ripple effect of this effort can be seen immediately.

For exercise you can do animal crawls and walks, relay races, or obstacle courses. You can also do fun games like “clay modeling” – have your child stand still and put him or her in different poses, then let them do the same with you. Mirroring is also a fun one, but start easy! Get outside if you can, the fresh air and sunlight does wonders

Nutrition

I personally struggle to keep my child wholly on a Gluten Free Casein Free diet. I’m simply not in a place where I can keep it up 100%, but I haven’t given up! Regardless, there are so many baby steps that can be taken to help improve nutrition.

Gradual replacements for gluten and casein products include Almond or Rice milk, coconut milk ice cream, and gluten-free cereals and bars. But if you look at the bigger picture, start by eliminating or decreasing fast food, heavily processed foods, soft drinks, and excessive sweets. Also look at foods with chemical dyes. This is no easy task, I assure you! But anything you can do is better than not doing anything.

I also started recently bridging the gap with whole food gummies, which give him 17 fruits, vegetables, and grains. This product made sense to me for both my children, who do not get everything they need from their limited diets, and I am SO GRATEFUL to have found it!

Sensory Activities

There are TONS of things you can do at home without expensive sensory equipment or a huge gym! Some of our favorite activities include rolling on a yoga ball ($25 at Target… and I use it for my own workouts, too!), body wrapping in a blanket, wearing double and triple shirts, and pushing heavy objects. We also like to play with bubbles, shaving cream, sand, wearing a blindfold and smelling scented oils and other distinct household foods, music time, and crawling through homemade forts and tunnels.

It is also helpful to put on sounds of nature, classical music, or meditation and chanting CDs during sensory time.

Support

This is SO important! Take it from someone who frequently would let herself get depleted and have nothing left to give. Parents, make sure you are getting support and feeding yourself with what you need to enjoy and replenish your spirit! You are of no good to your family or anyone when you are drained.

We can also get so caught up in the world of Autism that we forget the siblings. They need our support, too! It is essential to keep the lines of communication open with your entire family, and give them permission to feel what they are feeling. If you can, arrange for special activities and extra one-on-one time with your Neurotypical child. And get them involved! I sometimes ask my daughter’s input on how to deal with certain behaviors or feelings. Together, we come up with “emergency plans” in anticipation of meltdowns in public places, so we feel prepared for outings.

Alternative

I am thrilled to see all the amazing alternative therapies popping up for our children! I see music therapy, art therapy, martial arts for special needs, theatre improv groups, animal therapy, and more! Bravo!

Without getting too woo-woo, there are also options to supplement your efforts with energy work such as Reiki, EFT, Pranic Healing, and even yoga.

There is no magic answer to help our children, but there are so many modalities and supports available to aid us. Find one (or ones!) that resonate with you. You don’t have to feel helpless and alone if traditional therapies are not an option.

I encourage you to comment on our Facebook page, Twitter, or contact me directly on this site if I can help you in any way!

Why Are Our Children So Unhealthy?

We are living in a time when billions of dollars are being spent on treatments, causes, and sometimes even cures. We are missing the biggest factor: Prevention.

Why are our children so unhealthy? For the same reasons we are!

• Poor food choices (processed foods, and misleading “health food” packaging alike)
• Instant gratification society (particularly as it relates to fast food)
• Not drinking enough water
• Lack of movement and exercise
• Stressful lifestyles (is your child’s schedule as hectic as a 30-year-old’s calendar?!?)
• Sleep deprivation
• Environmental factors

Additionally, some children with autism may be at nutritional risk due to their behaviors around foods and eating. Food refusal and difficulty in introducing new foods into the diet are common.  Entire food groups may be refused due to sensory integration issues as it relates to food colors, textures, smells, and more.

Researchers have also found that peptides from improperly digested casein (milk) or gluten-based (wheat) foods affect brain function in some individuals with autism. Successfully putting your child on a Gluten Free Casein Free diet can be extremely challenging and requires diligence, commitment, and dedication to following through.

Typical child's diet? I wish!

Selective eaters, whether on the Autism Spectrum or not, may be at risk for some vitamin and mineral deficiencies, especially with a diet that is high in overly processed foods. My eldest child – neurotypical – eats only four foods; that is if they are the right brand, have the correct consistency, and the moon is in the seventh house. And it’s Tuesday   It has been this way since she was a toddler, despite an armory of tactics and years of struggle over the dinner table.

Whether you have a child that is a picky eater, has extensive food allergies, has problems with food texture, is always tired and lacks energy, or has chronic diarrhea or stomach distress, the bottom line is the same: our kids need better nutrition!

I am utterly thrilled, because I recently found a way to get 17 different fruits, vegetables, and grains into my children (and in me!) without the power struggles, tears, ultimatums, and drama… I can’t wait to share more with you over the coming weeks! Look for updates and tweets about my experiences, and feel free to drop me a line if you want to learn more!

Keep Your Little Ghosts & Witches Boo (hoo)-Free

Trick or Treat Safety Tips for Youngsters

Children should carry or wear something lit for visibility on a dark night – this could include a flashlight, glow-in-the-dark bracelet or necklace, or something flashing on their costume.

Trick or treat in familiar, friendly neighborhoods. It’s a good idea to stay away from unknown areas – stick to places you know!

Wear comfortable shoes that fit well! While the 3-inch heeled, sparkly go-go boots that don’t quite fit are just precious, you will avoid lots of whines and winces with well-fitting shoes. Trust me on this one – I have walked this path before! Save the clunky robot feet for the party.

Plan a bathroom break, and make sure the costume is… accessible. I have also learned this lesson the hard way! Remember that scene in “A Christmas Story”? “I can’t put my arms down!” Yep. Been there, done that.

Choose a treat sack that is easily toted. It is easy to get sucked in by the cutesie Halloween bags on display in the stores, but there is potential for an unpleasant experience when your sack is too heavy (Moooommmmmm – carry this!), too small to hold all the confectionary goodness, easily ripped or broken, or has any protruding parts.

The same goes for props – make sure they are not sharp. Swords, daggers, large and awkward items can become very dangerous if the child trips and falls on them. Though they add the icing to your child’s costume, they will be ditched or broken early into the evening.

Use common sense when it comes to local weather and costume type. If necessary, keep children hydrated and cool; or, on the flip side, make sure they are warm enough in colder climates.

Stick to the sidewalks. Do not let your children run across residents’ lawns. Not only is it disrespectful, but in the dark most obstacles (sprinklers, hoses, rocks, lawn gnomes) are not visible.

Listen to your child’s cues. You may have mapped out and ambitiously planned a marathon route under the guise of “more loot for the children”, but if your little one is getting tired, cold, or just plain over it… go home!

Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!!

He sleeps in this costume...

My warped daughter

Two Great New Supports for My Child

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, past attempts at organized sports have been very challenging for us. Either my son could not sit still long enough to hear what was expected of him (does the term whirling dervish mean anything to you?) or he wasn’t capable of performing the movements consistently.

Recently, TYSA (Tucker Youth Soccer Association) introduced a great new program, TOPSoccer.

The Outreach Program for Soccer is a community-based soccer training program for young athletes with disabilities, organized by Tucker Youth Soccer Association volunteers.

The program is designed to bring the opportunity of learning and playing soccer to any boy or girl, despite any physical or mental challenges. Their goal is to share the love of soccer with young athletes with
disabilities. Through TYSA’s TOPSoccer program, these special young athletes feel that they are an integral part of Tucker Youth Soccer Association.

My son had a great time being a part of this program! He would not take off his uniform shirt and couldn’t stop talking about the feeling he had when he scored goals. I am really grateful for this opportunity, for him to feel like he is a part of a group and be encouraged without comparing himself to others. It was also a great measure for me to see all the coordination and movement work I’ve been doing with him at home pay off in a safe environment!
The TOPSoccer program is open to all kids with any type of physical or mental disability between the ages of 6-18. The Fall season is five weeks, and will finish off on Halloween with a game and festive Jamboree.

For more information on TOPSoccer, either for the current season or the Spring season, contact Nancy Marsden, at admin@tysa.com or call  404 219 3752.

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We also found a REALLY COOL place to go hang out this week! Under the Umbrella recently opened its doors in Alpharetta. Their mission is to become the premier provider of a “drop off” play center specifically for autistic children in the metro Atlanta area. They encourage kids to explore a sensory-rich variety of activities designed to keep them engaged and calm.

What we loved about Under the Umbrella

• The three-to-one ratio of adults to children
• The special attention and encouragement my child received during playtime
• The music room with large floor mat piano and silly noise cushions
• The variety of sensory activities
• The option to drop off my child in a safe environment that I know he enjoys
• The staff!

I encourage you to stop by Under the Umbrella and tell all your friends!

Why is My Child Crashing into Me and Screaming?!?

In my house this weekend, my son was a human (LOUD!) bumper car. Despite all of my refined calming and redirecting techniques, the past few days brought loud screams interspersed with crashing into walls, family members, doors, mirrors, and repeated jumping and falling onto the floor. Ironically, light touches and loud noises from any other source but his own mouth send him into immediate meltdown. How can that be? How can crashing and tight squeezes feel great but a hand on his shoulder make him recoil as if he were being branded with a hot iron?

It can actually be very common for children with Sensory Processing issues to be both sensory seekers and sensory avoiders. How confusing and frustrating it can be!

What is sensory seeking?

As I’ve written before, Sensory Integration is the ability of the brain to detect, modulate, discriminate, and integrate the three special sensory systems – tactile (touch), vestibular (movement), and proprioceptive (body awareness).  Although these sensory systems are less familiar than the five senses we all learned about as children, they are critical in order for humans to experience, interpret, and respond to their environment appropriately.

Sensory seeking occurs when a child’s nervous system is under-responsive to the information being received by the brain, so they continually seek intense sensory experiences for an extended time period to compensate. Some typical sensory seeking behaviors include:

• Hyper-activity
• Impulsivity
• Decreased response to pain
• Crashing and banging into things
• Craves “tight squeezes” or bear hugs others a lot
• Screaming
• Poor body awareness – clumsiness, touching objects or others too hard or too often
• Staying in a soiled diaper or underpants

What is sensory avoiding?

Children with sensory avoidant behavior commonly have nervous systems that are overly responsive to sensation, which can trigger “fight or flight” responses to sensory stimuli.  They may demonstrate some of these behaviors:

• Withdrawing from touch
• Motion sickness, fear of heights
• Anxious in over-stimulating environments (public places such as malls, playgrounds, etc.)
• Picky eater – avoidance of certain textured foods, sensitive to food smells or temperatures
• Doesn’t like being messy and avoids mud, dirt, messy foods
• Struggles with self-care activities; will only wear certain types of material for clothing and or wear clothing in a particular way; complains about hair brushing, tooth brushing, and hair cutting.

If your child is like mine, we can relate to almost everything in both lists! However, I did have some success alleviating some of the crashing and screaming while we were in public, and I wanted to share what worked with you.

Things that helped

There’s nothing more frightening than standing in line at the grocery store and having your child uncontrollably scream crash into displays, climb on counters, and swing off things that are not meant to be swung from! OY! When this state of sensory seeking is reached, reasoning attempts fly out the window.

While we were out I offered some tight squeezes, head and shoulder pressure, and “contests” (bet you can’t crab walk to that bench and back in 2 minutes!). These did not stop the behaviors entirely but offered some relief to his body and allowed me a few more minutes to finish our errand. It is good to carry a weighted backpack in the car as an emergency sensory-seeking tool to help get you through a situation like that as well!

Once we got home, I was able to isolate him to a quiet room and really pay attention to what his body was craving. We used blanket rolling, full body pressure on a giant yoga ball while he was lying face-down, spinning, and our newest trick: wrapping a rolling pin in large bubble wrap and rolling it over his back! I then gave him some time in his tent with a digital timer. Watching the numbers count down always calms him. It was important that he knew it was not time out for misbehaving, rather a break that would help him.

Other tools I love for sensory avoidance behaviors:

• Noise-blocking headphones
• Personal games to keep him focused
• Favorite healthy snacks
• Nature sounds on my iPhone
• Wubbzy music
• An escape plan!

What things help your child cope with sensory input?